《泰格》完整中英文对照剧本.docx

2013年8月3日我必须得...Oh, I have to...天哪 我没法集中精力 嘿 MichaelGod, I cant focus. Oh, Michael.- 啊哈 怎么啦 - 给你- Yes, hi. - Here it is.- 就这些了吗 - 是的- Is this all it? - Yeah.- 好的 我要把这个贴到高脚椅上 - 谢谢- Okay, Im gonna tape this to the stool. - Thank you.你们好啊 Sarah和Zach 谢谢你们的到来Hi, Sarah and Zach. Thanks for coming.抱歉 感谢你能来捧场Sorry. Thanks for coming.为什么每个人对我那么都不友善呢Why wont anyone be nice to me?- 因为想对你友善太难了 Tig - 好吧- Its hard being Tig. - Mmm.- 嗨 Tig - 嗨 Zach- Hi, Tig. - Hi, Zach.我实在是装不下去了 哈哈I cant do it for much longer.- 嘿 Tig 周年秀快乐啊 - 谢谢啊- Hey, Tig, happy anniversary. - Thank you.你想让我表演多长时间How much time do you want me to do?你想表演多久What would you like to do?- 一分钟都不表演 - 好吧 完美- Zero. - Okay. Perfect.- 你能表演个15分钟吗 - 我试试吧 我准备了紧凑的五分钟- Can you do 15? - Ill try. I have a tight five.好的Okay.15分钟呢Fifteen.- 你要表演多长时间 Tig - 很可能45分钟吧- How much are you gonna do, Tig? - Probably 45.- 真的吗 - 是的- Oh, you are? - Yeah.哦 好Oh, okay.什么? 多长时间?Uh, what?- 是的 你没听错 - 等会儿你主持吗- I know. - Youre gonna host?应该不吧 我等会想先上场No, I think Im gonna go first.- 可以 - 好- Yeah. - Good.- 你结束之后Sarah上场 然后就是我 - 非常好- And then Sarah, and then me. - Lovely.你是想上场前来个介绍还是直接上场呢Do you want an introduction at the top, or do you wanna walk out?- 我应该... - Louis C.K.就是直接上场的- I should... - Louis C.K. Just walks out.- 那Louis干什么你就应该跟着干什么 - 他昨晚就是这么干的- You should do what Louis does. - And he did last night.去他妈的Louis (Fuck后两个字母是Louis的名字缩写)万一表演很烂怎么办What if this show is a bomb?哦天哪 不会的 肯定没事的Oh, my God, its not gonna happen.喜剧表演永远都是有风险的Comedy is always a risk.但是 一年前的今天But, a year ago today,我当时就在那边 等着Ed报幕请我上台when I was waiting over there for Ed to announce me,我当时想的就是I was just, like,完全不知道这场表演会是什么样 真的完全不知道No idea how this is gonna go. No idea how this is gonna go.大家晚上好啊Good evening, hello.我患了癌症 你们好吗I have cancer, how are you?我就那样上了台 根本不知道自己能不能活下去I came on stage not knowing if I was gonna live or die.而且那个时候我的生活分崩离析得太快And because my life had fallen apart so quickly,我基本上就