托福独立写作开篇常见错误分析-智课教育旗下智课教育.pdf
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托福独立写作开篇常见错误分析-智课教育旗下智课教
育
好的开始是成功的一半,托福独立写作也是一样的道理。本文小编
为大家分析考生在托福独立写作开篇时经常犯的一些错误,希望考生能
有所收获。
一般来说,开篇段落的写作可分为两大步骤:第一步就是用简洁明
了的句子对原题目的意思进行同义替换;第二步是提出自己的观点。这两
大步骤细化起来可以概括为四句话:第一句,采用同义替换的方式对原
题目的意思进行更改,当然是“形变神不变”;第二句,对题目的意思进
行解释;第三句,提出自己的观点;第四句,概括自己所提出观点的理由
,引起下文。下面小编根据考生在托福独立写作开篇中经常出现的问题
为大家做详细分析。
一、绕弯子
Some young adults want independence from their parents as
soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their
families for a longer time.
Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific
reasons and examples to support your opinion.
考生回答 :
With the development of science and technology, people’s
living standard has been improving day by day. According to the
family plan, one couple could have only one child.
So child becomes the center of the whole family. Some of
them are even spoiled. Therefore, I think it is better if the young
adult could live independent from their parents as soon as
possible.
解析:
这个开头看似没有任何问题,但是仔细分析就会发现很多问题。首
先 ,作者绕了个大弯才给出自己的观点。其次 ,观点是对原题目的抄写
,改动的比较少。最后 ,开篇缺少引起下文的过渡句。更大的错误是这
个开头更像是一个全文主要观点的一个分论点。
修改后 :
As we all know, some young adults have the sense of
independence in a special period so that they want to choose to
live apart from their family, while others still choose to stay with
parents in the family.
Family can provide young adults a warm bay where he or she
could turn to whenever any problems arise. However,
considering the sound development of the young adult both
mentally and physically, I think to live independently the earlier,
the better.
Independence is a lesson that each of us must face one day.
The detailed reasons are listed below.
二、误解原意
Do you agree or disagree: Because people are busy with
doing so many things, they can do few things well.
考生回答 :
Some people may hold the view that they are able to do
things
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